The ocean maker?🌊

Yesterday, Our teacher told us that we are going to practise writing a narrative. But first we need a topic so my teacher Mrs.S found a video and showed us but only to half way when she saw the cloud and then we had to make the rest up. After we watched the movie, we wrote what we saw and how we felt on the board as a class so that it could help us with our story. Once we finished writing our idea's, we got a planning sheet and wrote our plan for the story but we had only ten minutes. After writing our plan, we started to get our plan into action! Here is my story, hope you enjoy! 
Also I need some feedback on how to improve my narrative, can you give me Feedback? 

   

The Rainmaker

Imagine yourself, on a desert and once used to be sea. If I had to describe it, I would say as hot as a oven. Anyway, there I was, flying a small plane in search for any rain clouds. I has been ages I have been looking for rain clouds but there weren't any. Everyday I would get up early and fly around hopping there would be a cloud somewhere. Life used to be easy when the sea was there and I had my home, but what happened was that a war happened and killed my father. His last words were “Save your family and tell them how much I love them, goodbye…” And with that he died. I was determined to listen to my father's order’s. Before the war, I would always play in the sea with my little brother John, and my dad would sometimes go fishing and take me with him, but not anymore. Once he got a fish just as big as my little brother john.

Minutes passed as looked around in my plane not knowing what to do, I was about to lose hope and go back when something shined in my eye. I looked around and that was when I saw that it was the light house. It was shining towards the mountains in front of me and that was when I saw a cloud. I was running out of petrol but I had to go near the cloud because I had invented something called the rainmaker and it’s hard to explain how it is made.

Momentarily, I put the gear on full speed and went closer to the cloud but I was almost there when I started to go crashing down to the ground. My plane got damaged and so did I. I couldn’t contact anyone since I didn’t have anything on me. I decided that I would try and climb the mountain since I was surrounded by it. I started to climb it. I wasn’t even halfway when suddenly I went falling into the ground! “AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” I yelled. But nobody could hear me. I kept going down until I landed in the water.

Following that, swam up and that was when I saw a cave full of water. I felt so happy to find water but how was I supposed to get out? I got out of the water and looked around for any holes leading outside but I couldn’t find any. It was pretty dark so I couldn't see much. I felt around the walls when I felt a leaver. I pull the ever down, and a huge hole was made. I was confused and thought who could have made this.

Meanwhile, I saw a dim light so I went near it and when I saw tumbleweed, I knew this was the way out. I went out and so my village. I ran to my village and told everybody what happened. Everybody got big buckets and some kids even tooks their shirts off because they wanted to swim.

During that time, I was so happy to see my village laughing since it was a long time I saw them laugh but at that moment, in the middle of the lake, there was a swirling pool...